Life is sometimes quite complex for me to grasp. Playing video games is both an escape and a form of entertainment, but it seems that even in video games I tend to still go back to what life is about.
Struggles with myself and everything else have taught me lessons that no class ever could, and I do believe everything is always a matter of perspective.
When I was filled with desperation, I just wanted to be with someone; that same desperation let me settle for people who turned out to be not really worth my time. Years of dealing with insecurity, doubt, anxiety, anger, and heartbreak, all because I didn’t want to be single anymore. But once I stopped focusing on trying to attract someone and simply decided to focus on making myself better, the right one came along.
To be honest, our purpose is never clearly defined until we start to ask the question while finding our way around others. The realisation slowly sets in that it’s a big world full of other people once we start interacting with what’s around us. In that sense, we do not live for ourselves; we do not live today to die tomorrow without knowing others, going places, and being curious about new things.
My 2017 was filled with chances, failures, breakdowns, and a whole lot of trying to keep everything upright. But the best part of it was that I’m still here a year later.
When I first wrote this, it was because I couldn’t sleep. When one can’t sleep, it’s usually because their mind is a river of thoughts – flowing, flowing, flowing ever so endlessly through the hours of the night. When I first wrote this, my thoughts kept flowing back and forth to one word: